Communicating Like A Queen
I needed the Lord to show me how to start communicating like a queen, the queen of my house. So I fell to my knees in prayer.
I had had a rough day with one of my sons. His constant disobedience and mischievousness had worn me down from the mother I had wanted to be. I found that every time I came in contact with him I would be using such a snarly tone and hurtful words.
I was allowing him to bring out so much anger in me. ( side note: he has this uncanny ability to smile and giggle no matter how angry I am or how much trouble he’s in.)
I want to be a mom who’s words uplift and encourage at all costs. Unconditional in ALL my interactions with my children. Beautiful in theory, when the kids are asleep and the house is quite.😂
So like I said I found myself on my knees last night praying for grace over my mouth.
|”Let your conversations be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:6
See, the way you communicate with others can either draw people in or push them away. It can inspire people to want to listen to you or cause them to ignore you. But mostly the way you communicate sends a powerful message to yourself.
I know I am a queen. The daughter of the King. I am the Queen of my home, and I want to live every moment that way.
I truly strive to be the best version of myself everyday. Even though I fall and fail every other time I try, I keep trying.
Through my prayer and looking deeply within I remembered this. I remembered my King and who He says I am. I want to share with you how we should communicate in His world to be the best versions of ourselves and be the most effective for His Great Missions.
We all want our message to come across loud and clear. We don’t want to be misunderstood or worse ignored. Not by our children, co-workers or customer service.
However there is a fine line between coming across as over bearing and rude or coming across as strong.
By tapping into that queen like energy you can start to recognize that sweet spot of strength and gentleness. By learning how to communicate like a queen.
#2 Communicating Like a Queen Means: No Blaming
The moment we start blaming someone or something else outside of ourselves for anything that is happening we become victims. My friends, Queens are not victims. The moment we start blaming someone for how we are feeling we give all our power away. By owning how you feel about the situation you take your power back and this allows you to make conscious decision of how you want to behave in the situation.
Queens have boundaries. You can read how Setting Boundaries are Actually Biblical HERE
Queens do not allow other people to manipulate, degrade or insult them time and time again. They are strong and solid in how they expect to be treated. Kind and gentle YES. But strong and solid non-the-less.
Queens do not communicate with blame. We take 100% responsibility and decide what is good for us!
#3 A Queen Communicates with Directness
Mean what you say and say what you mean. The bible says in Matthew 5:37
|”All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”
To communicate like a queen you must learn to say yes and no the way you mean them. “Thank you so much for the invitation, but I am going to say “NO”. “That was very thoughtful of you to think of us, but tonight isn’t going to work for our schedule.”
A queen must learn to say yes and no without excuses. They get to be direct.
Being direct can feel uncomfortable at first. Especially is you are anything like me, a recovering chronic people pleaser. But people pleasing honestly is at the expense of no one but yourself. It has to stop.
In the book Boundaries Which you can find by clicking HERE. I highly recommend this book to everyone I speak to. The author talks about disappointment vs. harm. As people pleasers we feel that by disappointing people we are harming them. Let me tell you my friend, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Disappointment is not harm. And I promise no matter how disappointed your mother is that you won’t be able to come to Sunday dinner, she will get over it.
A Queen protects her subjects. When we are not direct with our answers and let the outside world dictate our comings and goings the ones to suffer (besides ourselves) are our husbands and children.
Practice being direct!
A Queen communicate with honesty. They don’t say yes when they mean no. Queens don’t excuse behavior when it has made them angry. She says how she is feeling and she is honest with everyone around her. * This is excluded from blame. Remember we never blame someone else for how you are feeling.
#5 Communicating Like a Queen Means: Listening
Communicating like a Queen means she listens. She puts herself into a beautiful space by listening to them. Not by trying to figure out how she should respond. No that is just being in your head. Listening is by truly hearing what they are saying to you. Then take time in your response. Leave space between your response. This is how a queen would respond.
#6 Confidence And Power
Communicating like a Queen means that you have the confidence to say EXACTLY what it is you want, believe, desire, need or dislike. By saying words like “I think….” or “maybe…” or “I’ll try” or even apologizing when you haven’t done something wrong, puts you in a space of defeat and uncertainty. A queen makes a statement. “Yes” “No” But to trust yourself and build this queen confidence you must practice.
Most woman talk to each other from a lack mindset. They tell each other about their struggles, diets, husbands complaints. Communicating like a queen means she comes from a place of power not dis- empowerment. She speaks with possible solutions along side the problem.
#7 A Queen Communicates With Love
A queen has a loving and simple tone. The tone I am striving for in my parenting. By doing the steps above you gain back so much of your power that you are able to come from a place of love and kindness. This in it’s self causes you to speak simply. Your words become fewer, and more powerful.
You stop speaking from a place of sadness, anger, or hurt
That doesn’t mean that you won’t feel that way. But it allows you the space to acknowledge the way you feel and then take the royal reigns.
This all brings me back to my son. I love him so much and only want what is best for him. I want him to grow up to be the best man he can possibly be. So being able to communicate to him how important he is, how loved. That I don’t place blame on him for how ‘HE’ made me feel. That I listen to his side of the story, but that I also set a boundary with him to let him know that isn’t exceptable behavior in our home. This raises me into my Queen energy. My beauty. Back into the power seat.
All my love my friend! 💖