Are Setting Boundaries Biblical?

Are Setting Boundaries Biblical?

Sometimes the thought of setting boundaries can feel harsh.


I know a lot of woman who’s nurturing caring side overtake their need for healthy boundaries.


They say things to me like……well…..”it isn’t that big of a deal.” or “I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.” or they make excuses for peoples lack of boundaries in their lives. “I’m sure they didn’t mean to be rude/invasive.”  I was one of these people. I was so busy pleasing people I lost the line between me and others. I lost the boundary that divides my happiness and theirs. The I realized I was having resentment toward people because I was letting them cross a boundary I had let blur. Who’s fault was thing?


As a teenager it only seemed natural to create boundaries between myself and everyone else. I was totally comfortable saying that is you, this is me, and NO! Maybe it was because it was socially okay for me to be a sassy disrespectful person. Someone who was “finding themselves.”


Then when I got married and started having kids, I guess I felt it just wasn’t okay to be that girl anymore.

Now I needed to conform. To please those in my life, to say yes, give back, help out, and above all not rock the boat to cause any family discord.

This couldn’t have been farther from the truth.


Don’t get me wrong I truly believe in elegance, beauty, and etiquette. 

I believe that growing up requires woman and especially moms to become the most beautiful versions of themselves they possibly can. But it felt “harsh.”

So I decided to figure out what Jesus says about boundaries.



Here’s what I found!



Jesus even set boundaries and practiced personal soul care.


Why would Jesus need to set boundaries? Because personal boundaries define your identity.

Jesus needed to give as much as he could for a short period of time.

Tired care givers often have trouble saying “no” and avoid speaking the truth in love.

I think that this is so powerful it deserves for me to repeat it.

Tired care givers often have trouble saying “no” and avoid speaking the truth in love.

They may get enmeshed with the people they care for, trying to continue to please them and walking on eggshells for fear of upsetting people. That then they lose themselves.

These same people, the ones who want to do the right thing, to help those in need of their help, to please the ones asking of them, loose track of what THEY need and what’s important to them. Ultimately they lose track of what God has called them to do.  At some point they may realize that they are not being true, God created and God redeemed self.

“the eastern boundary of the wilderness”
bounding line
a limit of a subject or sphere of activity.


What Did Jesus Say About Boundaries?

Jesus did not live on the defensive, overwhelmed and overextended before he took a break. Instead, Jesus lived on the offensive in dealing with temptation and Satan. He was proactive in His intimacy with the Father.

Jesus had expectation for people in need. He would ask them what they wanted. He made them ask. Sometimes when the lines of boundaries get blurred we start to anticipate peoples needs. They haven’t even asked us yet and we are already taking on the responsibility of pleasing them at the expense of our own happiness or self care.

Jesus did not do this. He made people ask for what they wanted even though He knew full well why they needed.


Jesus Taught Us How To Live By Example

  • Personal Prayer Time: Matt 6:6
  • Be Honest and Direct Matt 5:37
  • Set Priorities Luke 16:13
  • Please God Not People John 5:44
  • Obey God Matt 21:28-314
  • Take Responsibility and Make Others Do The Same Galatians 6:5
  • Be Gracious and Gentle Colossi ans 4:6
  • Don’t Overstay Your Welcome Proverbs 25:17


To sum it all up, if no one else has the guts to tell you, let me be the one. It is OKAY to say NO! It is right to tell people how they can treat you. You are you and what you want to do and be and believe and eat is  all up to you. You are unique and special and it is time to be unapologetic, it’s time to be you!!



Achieve an Air of Mystery

How To Say No Elegantly

Nourish Yourself


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